New Discoveries; "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly"

It's twenty-seven days since surgery and I've discovered some new things that have developed, which, unfortunately, are good, bad, and ugly.

Waking up in pain was no new symptom for me. However, waking up not being able to see and have more than one area that hurts now is more than debilitating, it's excruciating. I was told that once I had this surgery my sight would return permanently and there would be no more visual impairments of any kind. We were all wrong. Since the shunt was placed it has done a fabulous job at diverting fluid from collecting in my brain, putting dangerously painful pressure onto my optic nerves to my abdominal region. When I had my original CT’s done they showed two collections of fluid; one behind my eyes, another by my cerebellum (which controls balance and motor function).

When I woke from surgery the right side of my body was weak. The doctors said it was normal and that it would dissipate within a few days to a couple of weeks. After running tests; scans, blood work, and seeing the doctors there answers were simple, “I have no clue other than the fluid building was there for so long it had done damage there were just no symptoms of the damage until the pressure had been released”. WHAT?! You’ve got to be joking. Please, for the love of Heaven’s sake, tell me you’re fucking joking. The doctors are still unsure if I had an actual stroke, developed weakness from anesthesia, or just made things worse. But, the doctors are not going to adjust my shunt because the shunt is doing its job; diverting the fluid that was causing a serious problem.

So, for now, the doctors want to wait and see what happens with the balance, and weakness but the blindness there is nothing they can do. Out of newest technology out today, there is nothing, absolutely nothing, the doctors can do to stop my eyes from continuing to cause blindness. I do suffer from migraines, and headaches that do cause blindness but all they can do is provide medications to help stop the migraines. However, no medications have stopped the migraines and the daily loss of vision is beyond annoyance.

Today, I walk around with a cane because my balance is so fucked up on bad days it’s not funny. A few mornings when I’m just waking up, I have this rediculous habit of walking right into the bathroom doorway, unintentionally. Over the last few weeks, my eyesight has continuously been a battle for seeing that crystal clear ultra-high definition picture to seeing thick heavy fog or nothing but a smokescreen effect. There is no tell-tale sign of when my sight goes all fucked up and hay-wire it just happens. The migraines are continuous throughout the day, even with Firocet it doesn’t help. When the eyesight goes, it goes “kur-plunk”. All I can say is, shit, especially when I’m right in the middle of a thought, reading, or writing.

My thoughts, concentrating, and trying to comprehend what I am reading or writing is best described as a scrabble game, you never know what letter or word is going to come out next. Nothing is organized, just mushed, squished, and pancaked together into one big conglomerate mess.

Well, I hope this makes sense to my readers. Thanks again for reading and don’t forget to hit that follow button!